


There Was Never Anything For You To Win

by sonus



Series: Winning Your Heart [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Drinking, Friends to Lovers, Hair Dyeing, M/M, Temporarily Unrequited Love, background noren, past nahyuck, takes place a few years after part 1, you don't need to read part 1 to read this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:48:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22150564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sonus/pseuds/sonus
Summary: Many things have changed between finishing high school and starting college.Jaemin is living across the globe now, Donghyuck is left in Korea to heal his broken heart and maybe party a little.And now it's Mark who has red hair.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Series: Winning Your Heart [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1594324
Comments: 8
Kudos: 108





	There Was Never Anything For You To Win

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, welcome!!
> 
> if you are reading this and you already read part 1 when it first came out you might be thinking 'what the fuck' and i honestly cant tell you.
> 
> i've been sitting on this idea for a few months and randomly decided to give it a go about 5 days ago and...yeah here we are i guess. i did write it cos i felt like i needed to finish telling this story about donghyuck growing up and it suddenly got deeper than intended lol
> 
> also! if you clicked on this and you know nothing about part 1, don't worry!! the only important thing you will need to know is that nahyuck dated in high school.
> 
> and for all those people who prefer a nahyuck endgame: lets pretend it all ended with part 1 and this one is a completely different story hehe :D
> 
> anyway quick shout out to my 9900 squad who encouraged me to continue even if i was scared to publish this (yeah well)
> 
> hope you enjoy!!<33

The life of a college student is different from what Donghyuck has imagined.

When he first handed in his papers the campus looked fresh and new, students passing by him and Mark, who was his guide for the day, all had bright smiles on their faces.

One even greets them and as it later turned out it's because he is one of Mark's friends on campus. He gives the tall boy a second glance.

"Made a lot of new friends Markie?" He asks jokingly and the older smiles first at him and then at the back of Yukhei's head.

"Yeah, I did."

Donghyuck laughs and thinks that college seems easy and nice, his mind deciding to ignore the tired look on Mark's face and the bags under his eyes. If he looked carefully he might have had an idea of what his college experience will really be like.

It turns out college is _anything_ but fun and games after about a week of going to classes.

"I hate all of my professors," Donghyuck declares dramatically when he plops down next to his friends in the library where they are supported to have their study session.

He buries his head in his hands, not wanting to look up and be meet with Renjun's judgemental face and Jeno's pity just yet.

"I'm sure they aren't that bad," Jeno tries and Donghyuck can imagine the eye smile the older is probably giving him right now.

"They are all demons," Donghyuck mumbles back and Renjun laughs at his misery. Typical.

"And yet you are the worst demon of them all," the oldest of the trio says and Jeno lets out a giggle too. "Now stop sulking we have work to do."

And as much as Donghyuck doesn't like it, Renjun is right. He lets his hands fall to his sides and he scans his friend's faces.

They both look equally as tired as he feels and he feels a pang of guilt in his stomach. Of course, it's hard for all of them, being a freshman and all.

The atmosphere feels heavy and so Donghyuck does what he is best at. Tries to ruin the mood.

"Is there _anything_ interesting happening on campus? Like ever?" He asks.

Renjun and Jeno exchange looks.

"Well not really—" Jeno starts but stops as Renjun waves him off. Donghyuck frowns.

"Not for now. There are some activities planned for spring but for now--" Renjun stops for a moment as if to contemplate his next words. "The only thing is Valentine's Day card delivery."

The words make Donghyuck freeze for a moment until he remembers he no longer has anyone to send a card too.

Or does he?

His mind goes to Mark.

"Like the one we had in high school?"

"I guess it's basically the same," Renjun says with a shrug. "Only those must be addressed since they don't blast your confession to everyone, only to the building in which the target's department is."

 _Makes sense_.

The thought of Mark doesn't leave his mind and a small smile forms on his lips when he comes up with a plan.

"I'm gonna send a card to Mark hyung," he says and gives his friends a big grin.

It sounds good in his opinion but for some reason, the duo sitting opposite him doesn't seem to agree.

Renjun's face falls and Jeno's eyes fill up with sadness all of a sudden.

"I don't know Donghyuck," Renjun says in a quiet voice. "Maybe that's not the best idea."

Donghyuck frowns at his friends. It's nothing and he wants to tell them that.

"Why not? Mark has sent me so many of them, I have a full drawer back home filled with them. It's time for me to repay him with a nice one myself."

"I mean we can't stop you," Jeno gives him the smallest smile there is and Donghyuck answers him with a bright one. "Just be careful. It's a valentine card, you don't want your intentions to be misinterpreted."

Funny how that didn't even cross Donghyuck's mind before. Valentine's are mostly for couples but romance isn't really on his mind right now and so the possibility of Mark reading too much into things never crossed his mind.

He shrugs.

"Don't worry about it."

Donghyuck will find all of the right words to describe to his best friend how grateful he is for his existence and then he will make sure Mark gets the message.

It shouldn't be that hard.

☁️☁️☁️

The topic of romance seems to follow Donghyuck everywhere he goes.

One day it's Jeno and Renjun interrogating him to make sure he knows what he is doing with the card for Mark, the next its Yangyang coming basically crying to him.

"What happened to you?" Donghyuck asks and with panic in his heart and shaking hands he searches for any signs of injuries on the younger's body only to find nothing.

"What if I told you I just got rejected?" The younger asks between sobs and Donghyuck feels his hands close into fists.

"What?" He asks slowly and looks around this apartment for some sort of a weapon to kill that stupid bastard that rejected Yangyang with. There's nothing that could do enough damage.

"Hyuck," Yangyang's hands find their way around his waist and before he knows it they are hugging tightly.

It's a rare occasion seeing Yangyang like this. The other is usually bright and strong.

It takes a while for the younger to calm down but eventually they separate and there is even a small smile on Yangyang's lips.

"I'll get over it soon. And no I won't tell you who it was, just a moment ago you looked ready to murder them Hyuck," he laughs at Donghyuck's expression.

"Fair," he says and Yangyang snorts before he turns all serious again.

"So tell me," he prompts his head on his hands and looks Donghyuck in the eyes. "How long did it take you to fall out of love with Jaemin? Was it hard?"

The question catches him by surprise. He thinks back to his break up with Jaemin and wonders what the right answer is.

"Falling out of love? Are those even the right words? We never said the big scary 'I love you' to each other," Donghyuck ponders on this for a moment but his eyes are clean and dry when he turns to Yangyang. "Of course, we did feel something, otherwise it would have never worked but I think love is too hard and it would have been too early so maybe, that's why it was easier to let go."

The truth is just as simple as that. He and Jaemin shared many memories but when they decided it was best to end things and stay friends when the younger got accepted into college in America it was easy.

Well, not easy as in ‘not hurting’, but easy because Jaemin knew he never planned to get back to Korea. He wanted to stay in America after university and Donghyuck wanted to stay in Korea.

They were the case of two teenagers who cared about each other deeply but weren't afraid to let go when they knew their goals pulled then in entirely different directions.

That's probably why Donghyuck's situation was easier than what Yangyang was going through right now.

"I think...the most important thing is to give yourself time," Donghyuck pats the younger on the head. "My offer to murder or castrate them is still on if you need it."

Yangyang laughs.

"No that won't be needed," he waves Donghyuck's hand off and gets up to go terrorize the kitchen. "Maybe I should just look for someone else to date? Would that work?"

Donghyuck shrugs. He hasn’t thought of that.

"Beats me," he says and there is a spark in Yangyang's eyes that he doesn't like.

"What about you Hyuck? Thought of dating again?"

Donghyuck stops to think about it. Had he?

He remembers Jaemin's smile and then the stress of college life and this stupid assignment he still needs to finish. Donghyuck grimaces.

"No, not yet. It's not because of Jaemin or anything, I just don't have time and more importantly, I don't have anyone in mind."

Yangyang stops on his way to the other room and turns to face him, that wicked sparkle still in place.

"Oh I'm sure you would find someone if you searched," he says in a light tone and Donghyuck wants to get up and shake him until he spills what the fuck is this supposed to mean.

"What the hell Yangyang," he says instead because the younger gets a free pass today.

So Donghyuck lets his friend go without pressing, his eyes traced on the back of his head as his mind wanders off.

Was there anyone he would date right now?

The Valentine card he has to make for Mark suddenly appears in his head and he sighs. He has other things to do for now. Dating will have to wait.

☁️☁️☁️

About a month into the academic year, when Donghyuck is read to go completely insane and just say 'fuck it' and just never again appear on campus, something happens which makes him stop and take a second look.

It's hard to catch Mark on campus, the older is so busy with assignments and classes. It feels almost like they see each other even less than did last year when Donghyuck was still in high school.

So Donghyuck gasps quietly when one Friday night he opens his dorm room to his best friend looking at him with a small and looped smile.

But the sole presence of the older isn't what makes Donghyuck stop and his eyes grow comically big.

There's something different about Mark that night.

"You are not gonna let me in?" The older asks playfully and a smile that appears on his lips helps Donghyuck snap out of it. He lets go of the door handle and moves away so that Mark can squeeze past him and run into the small dorm room he shares with Renjun.

As the older disappears from view and Donghyuck is left alone by the door and the cold night air slips in, he blinks. Once, twice.

"Mark Lee what the hell!" He yells and shuts the door before sprinting to his living room.

Renjun isn't there today, probably busy on his date with Jeno and so the two of them are alone.

Something about Mark makes Donghyuck nervous all of a sudden.

' _It's the hair_ ' he tells himself as he settles down next to his best friend.

Up close he can finally make sense of what Mark has done to his hair. It's still mostly dark, but there are also places in which its bright yellow, freshly bleached.

Donghyuck furrows his brows.

"What's this?" He gestures to Mark's head. "Don't tell me you were drunk and now you need my help to cover it up."

Mark frowns down at him.

"Yes I need your help but no, I wasn't drunk."

Donghyuck raises his eyebrows.

"Then what do you wanna do with it? Renjun is not there and he probably won't be back tonight if you know what I mean," he says and makes a nonsense gesture with his hand. Mark gets it and simply nods.

"I got some dye and I was thinking you could help me with it since you have done it so many times back in high school."

Donghyuck can't help but move a little closer to Mark which makes the older's eyes grow bigger. He can see his own reflection in his best friend's blown-out pupils. It's too dark to see the blush creeping up Mark's neck. 

"What have you done to my best friend," he whispers and laughs when Mark shoves him lightly.

"Will you help me or not?"

"Of course I will! Where's the dye?" He asks and gets up, not waiting for an answer.

Donghyuck hears a commotion behind his back as he enters the bathroom and looks around trying to remember all the things they will need to save Mark's hair.

If Donghyuck has, to be honest, the light highlights peeking out from the bush that's Mark's dark hair aren't that bad. He doesn't want to dweĺl for too long on what it means but his thought mix and tangle as he blocks out the conclusion that his brain comes up with.

"A cup," he mumbles to himself and busses his hands with searching. "I need a cup and water. Maybe plastic gloves if I can find those."

"Gloves are included!" Comes a yell from the other room and Donghyuck jumps up a little. He hurries, collecting the items he knows he will need.

"That should do," he says to no one in particular and glances at what he had gathered with satisfaction.

"I think we have everything," comes a voice from behind him and Donghyuck turns around just to find Mark leaning on the doorframe, bathroom lights finally doing justice the colors on his head.

Donghyuck sighs and reaches up to touch his own hair. It has been plain and boring brown for almost two years now.

He has stopped dyeing it after him and Jaemin started dating and Mark threatened to shave him if he tried again.

Now, looking at his best friend's bright highlights and the expecting look in his eyes, he missed the thrill of discovering new color each time he washed his hair and the water took a little bit of color with it down the drain.

"What color are we doing?" He asks with a raised eyebrow. There's no time to waste on unnecessary thoughts.

Donghyuck pushes hard until the memories go back to the back of his head where they loom over him, an omen of an upcoming catastrophe but harmless for the time being.

"This is what I had in mind," Mark says and tosses him a box of hair dye.

It flies through the air and Donghyuck catches it instinctively just to almost drop it to the bathroom floor the next second.

He stares at the box in awe.

It's the exact same color as the one both Jaemin and Donghyuck had used back in high school in their last battle.

Those memories are harder to swallow back and for a moment Donghyuck thinks he is going to lose it.

"Sunset Red," Mark reads, one of the older's palms landing safely on Donghyuck's back and keeping him in place.

Mark is always able to calm him down, no matter how bad the situation.

Donghyuck takes a deep breath and smiles down at the box in his hands.

"Figures," he laughs softly. "I think it will suit you."

He feels Mark move next to him and Donghyuck looks up at his best friend. Their eyes meet and for a split second, he wonders if Mark _knows_.

But then again, how could he? And why would he care?

"I have a feeling you will rock it better than I ever—" he shakes his head lightly. There's no need to bring that red back. Not on Donghyuck anyway.

"Let's get to work," he says and for a second Mark looks like he wants to ask but Donghyuck swiftly tosses the box in the sink and picks up a bow that he has picked up with the intention to squeeze the dye into it.

"I trust you not to make all of my hair fall out," Mark declares as he settles on the edge of the bathtub.

"That might be a mistake," Donghyuck laughs and picks up the plastic gloves that Mark handed him earlier. "But I'll try, I promise."

And he does. Mark talks his worries away while Donghyuck covers highlight after highlight in bright red substance. He lets Mark's stories about his course mates and some random facts from his lectures fly around them.

Donghyuck listens to them with the tip of his tongue sticking out in concentration.

He nods occasionally and as he goes he slowly relaxes and joins in on the conversation.

Mark tries to twist his head and look at him a few times and Donghyuck snorts while holding his head in place so that he can work peacefully. 

"I don't want my whole bathroom to be red hyung. Stop moving," he laughs because he can imagine Renjun's angry expression if that did end up happening and his friend came back from his date to a bathroom looking like a crime scene.

"Okay okay," Mark stops moving around and Donghyuck can almost _feel_ his smile even if he can see it. "Have I told you about this one time Dejun almost made the whole library evacuate?"

Donghyuck shakes lightly his head with a soft smile.

"No," he whispers to himself because Mark is no longer listening, too immersed in his own story. "You haven't."

It takes another hour before Mark's hair is all dry and done.

Donghyuck steps back a little to look at the results of his work from afar.

Mark does look different. There's something about him that screams 'change' and it's only now that it occurs to Donghyuck that's it's not only the hair’s fault.

The older has changed so much since the start of college. In subtle ways but it's still there and Donghyuck wonders how did he end up so wrapped up in his own world to not notice something so obvious about his best friend.

"How is it?" Mark asks him without even turning around to look at it himself in the mirror.

Donghyuck inspects the color of Mark's hair. The bright light makes it look so different from what he remembers from his high school days.

He takes a few steps forward to see it up close and, yes, he _was_ right. The color _is_ different on Mark.

He doesn't even think about it when he reaches out to run his fingers through then red strands. It only occurs to him when he feels softness under his fingertips and Mark visibility stiffens.

"I think I did a pretty good job," Donghyuck says and after another moment of silence, he retreats his hand. "They are very red."

Mark relaxes a little and snorts.

"Yeah, but do they look good?"

Donghyuck stares at his best friend again. The light plays with the colorful hair and makes it look like fire. It makes him feels strange.

"It suits you," is what Donghyuck ops for.

' _You are beautiful_ ,' is what he really wanted to say.

☁️☁️☁️

Donghyuck isn't the type to party it out every Friday night after classes. He much more prefers to stay home and bury himself in textbooks or pillows, depending on how many tests he has the next week.

Of course, there have been a couple of parties that seniors from his department have invited him too but he declined all the offers with a smile on his face.

Well, all until now.

"Remind me again, why did I agree?" Donghyuck asks Renjun who is dragging him by the wrist across the parking lot of some senior's apartment complex. "Why did I agree to go to this party?"

The second question is directed at Donghyuck himself but Renjun turns around to check on him with a worried look on his face.

"Because everyone will be there?" Renjun tightens his grip on Donghyuck's wrist. "And you need it. Get drunk, maybe make out with someone. I don't know Donghyuck but you have been pushing us away lately. I'm worried. We all are."

Donghyuck shivers in the cold air of late autumn and looks around. There are so many university students here, some already drunk enough to need help in getting up the stairs.

A few of them wave at them, one or two of them are people Donghyuck recognizes and the others give his friend a big smile.

Renjun is a party person it seems.

"Is Mark coming too?" Donghyuck asks. It's been a while since he has spent more than five minutes with the older and he isn't sure if caught in the middle of his second year Mark will have time to come. He knows the rest of their group is coming but not his own best friend.

Renjun throws him a strange look.

"He said he is, why are you asking?"

"Because he is my best friend?" Donghyuck answers and grimaces at the way it sounds like a question.

"Yeah, whatever. Jeno and Yangyang are already waiting for us at the door let's hurry," Renjun wastes no time and he tugs at Donghyuck's harder to make them move faster in the direction that everyone else is going.

Donghyuck lets himself be dragged and it doesn't even take a minute before they open the door to the flat.

Inside it feels like a completely different world. All of the light bulbs must have been replaced because the light they give is sickly blue and makes Donghyuck feel like he is drunk already without any alcohol in his system.

As soon as the loud music swallows them and the sticky hot air makes Donghyuck forget about the chill outside Jeno and Yangyang join them.

"Want some alcohol?" Yangyang shouts to be louder than the basses that almost make the walls shake and Donghyuck unconsciously reaches out for the drink the younger offers him.

It's orange so it can't be beer and it makes him grimace when he swallows it in one go.

"Wow Donghyuck you didn't come to play," Yangyang laughs and pats him on the back while Jeno looks at him with big round eyes. Renjun shrugs at his boyfriend's questioning gaze.

"Stop staring and go make out or something," he tells the pair and they exchange looks before they give him a smile.

"Might as well," Renjun says and laughs at Donghyuck's disgusted face when he drags Jeno in the direction where there is probably more space and, Donghyuck prays to god, more privacy. 

"Now why did you tell them to do that," Yangyang whines as they look after the pair who disappear from their view in under a minute. "I wanted to play never have I ever with you all."

Donghyuck looks at the boy beside him with caution.

"Are you drunk already?"

The younger shakes his head sadly.

"No, but I wanna be," he gestures in the opposite direction than the one their friends went. "They are playing over there, c'mon Hyuck lets play."

Donghyuck considers his options. The party is loud and dark around him, Yangyang's skin looking alien-like in the blue lights and he sighs. A little bit of alcohol will probably be necessary if he wanted to survive this.

He should probably find Mark first and at least say hi but looking at the masses Donghyuck suspects he might have some trouble finding his best friend and then searching for Yangyang to drink.

"You know what?" He almost shouts to make sure the younger hears him clearly. "Fine."

Yangyang smiles and it looks wicked thanks to the lighting and then grabs his hand.

Everything spirals quickly from there.

☁️☁️☁️

Donghyuck wonders how did he _not_ predict this.

Before long he has trouble standing completely straight and that in itself is a bad omen but when he laughs as every single joke Doyoung makes he knows it's time for him to leave the game. 

"I'm out," he shouts at Yangyang who thankfully stayed by his side through the whole thing. Donghyuck isn't sure if he would have found him otherwise.

He also isn't sure how he is going to find Mark like this but there's nothing he can do about it now.

"Where are you going? Home already?" Yangyang gestures with his cup and the liquid inside almost spills all over the floor.

"No, not yet," Donghyuck gives the crowd a good scan. He tries to locate colorful red hair but it's hard to spot in that blue light. "I need to find Mark."

"Mark?" Yangyang asks and Donghyuck nods. And then nods again, not paying attention to the younger anymore.

His mind chants the same thought again and again. It's stuck on one simple task.

 _Mark, Mark, Mark_.

Donghyuck searches for the familiar face in the crowd as he moves around, his frustration growing with each passing second.

In the end, it goes the same way it always does in this relationship.

Mark is the one who finds him, not the other way around and then brings him to the kitchen where the air isn't as hot and filled with alcohol as in the other rooms.

Donghyuck is glad they stop because his world finally stops spinning and the first thing he sees when his vision cleans is Mark's worried face.

He blinks at his best friend and for the first time in forever, probably thanks to alcohol, he looks at Mark as just another college boy. The older looks so out of place with worry on his face even if his outfit screams party with ripped jeans and one arm of the t-shirt slipping off.

Donghyuck briefly wonders how comes it's sliding off but soon his eyes go up to the older's hair. That damned hair.

It's hard not to stare.

There's something that makes Donghyuck lose his filter that night, something that makes this one thought he should have kept to himself slip.

"Wow you're so pretty," he is surprised at how clean his voice sounds despite the amount of alcohol he can feel in his veins.

There's something mesmerizing about the way red reflects in Mark's hair seem to shine under the dim blue light of the living room.

It's hard to say if it's a blush or just another change of lighting that colors his neck but Donghyuck can't help a smile at the thought that he would be able to make the perfect and never frustrated Mark blush so he decides to believe that.

"Thank you for noticing I guess," the older says and turns away to scan the mass of people in search of something. Or someone, perhaps Yukhei.

Donghyuck frowns because the room suddenly spins under him when he remembers the taller boy. Did he really drink that much?

"Who are you looking for?" Donghyuck tries to stand on his toes to see better but he almost loses his balance, Mark catching him in time. He turns to his best friend and then they just stare.

For a moment too long.

And, oh god, is Donghyuck just imagining things or is it alcohol, because at that moment he wishes he could taste Mark's lips. Even though he knows exactly what they feel like.

' _C'mon Donghyuck, this is just your best friend that you have known forever stop being weird_.'

But, of course, since there's so much alcohol in his system and so little of his brain left that he doesn't even register when he leans into Mark more.

More than he ever should and it's evident in the wide-eyed look that Mark gives him.

The red hair is so soft under Donghyuck's fingertips and—

How did his hands even get there?

"I was looking for Renjun or maybe Jeno," Mark's voice is loud enough for Donghyuck to hear and the older is close enough for his breath to tickle Donghyuck's skin. "You are drunk Hyuck."

There's something strange about the way Donghyuck's body reacts to Mark's hands on his shoulders as his best friend guides him through the masses of people in the direction of the door.

He can't take the hotness that's suddenly all around him and he turns around just to find Mark's face centimeters from his.

They look at each other for a moment, Donghyuck's thoughts racing way too fast for him to make sense of them but he doesn't take a step back. Nor forward. He just stands there and waits for Mark to make a move.

The older takes a step back and gently turns him around so that he is facing the entrance again. They start to make their way to the door again.

Outside, cold air bites Donghyuck's warm cheeks but it does little to make his thoughts clear up.

He follows Mark's every move with his eyes, noting that his best friend isn't drunk as he prepares his car to get them home. Wherever that is.

Donghyuck has a feeling it's not his dorm room. If he had to guide Mark to where he would really want to go right now it would probably be the quiet of Mark's bedroom back in the older's childhood home.

But that's impossible so instead, he stays quiet.

☁️☁️☁️

Just as Donghyuck has suspected they arrive at Mark's dorm room quite fast.

The older help him up the stairs even when he tells him to go away because he is _not that drunk_. He wobbles a little but manages to make it into the room without falling down to his death or any other inconveniences.

Once inside, Donghyuck aims for the sofa, not carrying about all the books he ends up landing on.

Mark sets off to the kitchen.

"You took me home before I could truly enjoy my night," Donghyuck says and even though he tries hard, his voice sounds whiny.

"Haven't you enjoyed it a little bit _too much_?" Mark raises his eyebrows at his best friend as he settles down on the sofa, a steaming mug in hand. "Never took you for the party hard type Hyuck."

Donghyuck frowns.

"Because I'm _not_."

A moment of silence.

"I was just stressed and Yangyang was too good at playing games," he finally mumbles. His intention wasn't to get drunk. Well, not before he had a chance to have fun.

"What games?" Mark asks, his gaze telling the younger than the poor boy will probably be interrogated the next day.

"I can't remember."

Mark rolls his eyes helplessly.

"Go to sleep Hyuck," he points in the direction of his room where one single bed awaits him. "I'll join you later."

"No," Donghyuck whines again and this time he tries to use all of his cute appeals he knows he has. "I didn't get to dance Mark."

The older turns to him again. Their gazes meet and Donghyuck tries to feel out the waters. Is his best friend willing to fulfill his drunken wish?

"Dance with me Markie," he breathes out quietly and the request hangs in the air for a moment before there's any reaction from the older.

Mark's eyes change a little and the spark that appears in them is something Donghyuck has never seen there before. Unbeknownst to him, it's a look reserved only for when he isn't looking.

Donghyuck's brain can't place it, too clouded with alcohol.

"Okay," the older simply says and reaches for his phone to put some music on. "What should I play?"

Donghyuck tries to think of anything good but his mind goes to strange places so in the end he shrugs.

"Whatever you want Markie."

And as the first notes of 'I Wanna Be Yours' by Arctic Monkeys start playing Mark looks up at him again.

His gaze is soft as he offers his hand to Donghyuck and the younger grabs it confidently.

It's not your typical party song, not the kind that Yangyang and the rest of their friends are probably jamming to right now but as Donghyuck lets himself be lost in the rhythm he finds himself smiling and even laughing.

The lyrics that are whispered softly not only by the singer but also by Mark register only partly in his brain.

☁️☁️☁️

Donghyuck collapses on the bed completely exhausted but it doesn't mean he falls asleep easily.

Mark joins him after what Donghyuck assumes to be a quick shower and they lay in silence for a while before the older speaks up.

"Are you asleep?" Mark's voice is almost a whisper, testing the waters to see how conscious Donghyuck is.

The younger mumbles in response, not quite sure if he is falling asleep or if it's just his brain wanting to shut down, preferably forever.

Mark laughs lightly at his response and there's some commotion on his side of the bed before he speaks again.

"Alright then," Mark sounds soft and Donghyuck wishes he could just roll over and throw his hands all over the older but something is stopping him from doing it. "I think I'm gonna sleep. Maybe you should too."

' _Maybe I should_ ,' Donghyuck thinks as time flies by and he can't even tell for how long they have been laying like this before his brain stumbles upon something.

A sudden clarity amongst all of his drunken thoughts. It's not a good one. Donghyuck hisses at himself, cursing himself for not listening to Mark's advice and staying awake.

Being drunk and crumbled in a bed in a dark dorm room at 4 a.m probably isn't the best time and place to realize important things but that's exactly what happens for Donghyuck. 

Mark is breathing steadily next to him, the outline of his shoulders visible in the shitty light that comes through the window from the street lamps. It's a familiar view even if it's been a while since they have done a sleepover like this.

He lays restlessly on his side of the bed, trying to fall asleep when his brain finally makes sense of all the thoughts that has been going thought his head that night. And before that too.

The realization hits him hard and he feels his shoulders tense up, his breath stops for a moment as he tries to send those thoughts back where they came from but now when he is drunk and tried, it doesn't work.

The only thing he can do in that moment is to pretend the words that bounce in his head don't exist and hope that by the time the morning light will wake them both up they would disappear.

' _You are in love with Mark_ ' his brain sings him to sleep.

☁️☁️☁️

The realization doesn't go away in the morning.

It plays like a broken record over and over again as Mark greets Donghyuck in the kitchen when the younger finally wakes up.

It doesn't stop as the older enthusiastically chats away over breakfast. It's a one-sided conversation and Donghyuck lets it play out, his eyes never leaving Mark.

How did it happen? Have all his life lead him to this moment when he faces his best friend of twenty years and realizes that he wants the older in his life forever.

Not only as his friend but as a long-time partner.

And ah fuck, Mark stares at him now too.

"Slept well?" Donghyuck says just to break the strange silence and maybe it's just him but the atmosphere is different that day. And it seems Mark catches it too.

"You bet. How about you?" Mark's eyes are more focused now and Donghyuck lets his gaze wander off.

It stops on Mark's hair for a moment again and he sighs.

' _Life was easier yesterday_ ,' he decides and then calls Renjun to pick him up.

☁️☁️☁️

The words spill out of him like a waterfall finally set free after years of fighting.

It feels good to let his feelings loose even if Donghyuck has been aware of them only for a few hours.

"You know you have probably missed all the changes right?" Renjun asks as he looks at the younger.

Donghyuck tries to take in the words but there is this thing that he has developed since he started college. It's stupidity. 

"What do you _mean_ Injun?" He asks instead because when he discussed this with Jaemin over the phone the younger told him to just _ask_ instead of beating around the bush.

"That never works out, you know?" The younger laughs and Donghyuck can hear other voices in the background of the call. "Probably half of the reason why we didn't work out."

Back then, Donghyuck was so sure Jaemin meant the miscommunication. It wouldn't be too far off, it was the thing that kept them from confessing for a long time and then, ultimately, played a role in the break up even if Donghyuck didn't like admitting it. Long-distance and the fact that Jaemin wasn't coming back were, of course, more important but still.

Right now, Donghyuck wonders if what Jaemin meant was actually Mark. Was there a part of Donghyuck that has always cared a little too much about his best friend? Or was he just imagining things now?

Either way, he needs answers from Renjun.

"What chances?" He adds. "Sure, I could have kissed him at that party but I wasn't aware of what was happening yet. And Mark he—"

"Spends so much time with Yukhei?" Renjun asks but there is no sarcasm in his voice.

Donghyuck just nods.

"If he has feelings for him I won't do anything I promise," he says and Renjun stares at him. "But regardless of that, I want to send him that one valentine's day card. For all the years he did it for me."

Renjun sighs and Donghyuck can see the exact moment in which something in his friend breaks. The older's shoulders relax and he laughs shortly.

"You didn't receive a card from Mark in the last year of high school right?" He asks instead of answering any of Donghyuck questions but the younger decides to play along.

"I didn't. I figured he was too busy with university and besides, I got one from Jaemin," he answers and Renjun laughs bitterly. 

"This is so _you_ Donghyuck it kind of hurts because I can't even be mad at you," he says and Donghyuck furrows his brows. What is that even supposed to mean. "Not wanting to assume things and just going on about it like nothing happened. To be fair, we all thought you knew. Even Jaemin."

Donghyuck still for a moment but he doesn't want the words to sink in. Renjun is right. He hates assuming things so he doesn't let his thoughts run wild.

"You've had so many chances over the years Donghyuck. So many. I don't know Mark's feelings right now but if I had to guess based on his character I would say—"

Donghyuck can't take it.

He can't take the slow realization that slips into his brain and solidifies despite his best efforts to push it away.

Maybe he should have known like Renjun said. He always prides himself in knowing his friends pretty well and Mark is his _best friend_.

Mark is the person that he has always cared about the most no matter what was happening and _oh_ —

"Save it," his voice turns into a whisper and he closes his eyes. An imagine of Mark appears, from back when he had black hair and congratulated him on getting with Jaemin. Then his brain reminds him of that one valentine's day card from the same year, the one about letting go and he breathes out carefully. "I don't want to hear it. You are right, I should have brown up all of my chances by now."

The room falls silent.

"I asked you once if maybe I should just date Mark and you said he isn't my type," he looks up at Renjun and the older's gaze is glazed over like he was trying hard not to cry. Which is odd enough to make alarms go off in Donghyuck's head. "What's with that? Did we change Renjun?"

The older looks away.

"I don't think you did. I mean, you matured, sure, but I don't the things that make you Donghyuck had changed at all."

Donghyuck laughs at that. 

"Then what _did_ change? Because right now I really want to kiss Mark. And it doesn't feel fresh or new it feels almost familiar," Donghyuck searches for the right words because he knows they are there and he has to just grab them. "It almost feels like I'm late to my own birthday party where everyone is already there and having a great time. Except it's not great because I've been hurting Mark for _years_ and I never wanted that."

Renjun studies him for a moment before answering.

"You know he always wants the best for you, romantic feelings or not. And I think you did nothing wrong, getting with Jaemin and all that. You enjoyed that and it's _fine_. I think that nothing changed, maybe except for your view of Mark. Back when I said he wasn't your type I just meant that I thought you craved adventures. And you already liked Jaemin," Donghyuck rolls the words over in his brain and he can see where Renjun is coming from. There was this part of him that wanted things to be more difficult in high school. Now it was gone together with his enthusiasm for starting college. Maybe this is the growing up Renjun talked about earlier. Maybe it's not.

But there's also a part of Mark that changed. A few years ago the older would have never risked playing with his scalp like that, letting Donghyuck put that bright red hair dye on his previously bleached highlights.

That part of Mark is fresh and exciting enough to spark that kind of interest in Donghyuck. So maybe he really hadn't changed his taste so much. Mark is both safe and different at the same time now.

"I'm not saying Mark can't be an adventure but he has always been your best friend."

Donghyuck nods.

"He is more of a safe place for me and I need it now," he stares at Renjun again and another thought crosses his mind. "Wouldn't he mind you telling me all of this."

The older shrugs.

"It's not like he ever hid it from you. Sure, he never confessed but Mark knew the chances and probably didn't want to make it awkward," Donghyuck can get behind that. It must have been hard for Mark and he wonders how he never noticed anything. "I think he kind of thought you figured it out? At some point but then you just went and…"

Donghyuck sighs and hides his head in his hands.

"And did all that stuff at the party, right? I mean it's nothing big but the way Mark rejected everything makes me think—"

"Donghyuck you were drunk," Renjun points out. "And he knew that."

"But there can be more to it," Donghyuck raises his voice just a little. There's this fear in him despite, or maybe because of what he has just learned about Mark, that his best friend's feelings have changed. Over the course of that one year in university.

Or maybe he saw Donghyuck's lame attempt at _something_ up close and he changed his mind. There is this thing about forbidden fruit tasting the best.

Maybe sweaty and drunk Donghyuck wasn't looking so good under those blue light.

Or maybe he should change his hair back to red.

"He could have moved on despite all of this. Wouldn't blame him. Mark deserves better, especially from me."

"What are you even saying Donghyuck? You were all that he wanted for so long," Renjun looks at him with despair in his eyes. "Don't shut it down just because now you are the one who isn't sure."

"Renjun _you_ were the one who told I probably have blown up all my chances."

"That's because I don't want Mark to suffer. I wasn't sure how serious you were. It could have easily been a heat of the moment thing," Donghyuck can't help but smile at how _Renjun_ this whole thing is.

He knows his friend worries about both of them. Donghyuck sees it in the stares he throws them even if he is with Jeno. He appreciates it.

"Fair," he says and lets out a shaky breath. "I still don't know where exactly I stand but I'll do what I said. I'm gonna send Mark this goddamn card and see what happens."

Renjun smirks at him and gives him a little thumbs up.

Donghyuck rolls his hands into fists under the table and focuses on a piece of paper laying lonely on the table.

It has taken him years to arrive at this point but now that he is there, Donghyuck is going to make it right. And then it will all be up to Mark.

Time to make his move.

☁️☁️☁️

Despite not being a newbie at romance, writing that stupid card provides to be a difficult task.

It's so hard that he somehow ends up sighing over it more than over his assignments. He curses at it more than at his notes.

He hates it more than his finals.

Well, no, that's not exactly true.

He doesn't hate that stupid piece of paper, it hasn’t wronged him.

He hates himself for not being able to convert what he was feeling into words that would somehow make sense.

"Since when was confessing that hard," he complains to Jaemin over facetime one autumn day. Or more like night but details are unnecessary.

"You really are an idiot Donghyuck," Jaemin laughs at his misery. "You don't even know how many hours I have spent on that crappy confession in high school."

This picks Donghyuck's interest.

"You did?" He asks curiously, chewing at the end of the pen he was still holding. There was no point in trying to fool anyone that he was still working on the letter but any advice would be nice.

Maybe there is something not quite right about asking your ex about how they confessed to you but Jaemin is still a good friend of his and the only person stupid enough to be up at this hour.

Well, technically it is the middle of the day for the younger but still.

Jaemin is up and Donghyuck needs help.

So they talk.

"Of course I did," Jaemin laughs lightly like it is the most obvious thing in the world. "Coming up with the right words for a confession usually takes lots of time. But you know what? It's absolutely worth it."

Donghyuck wishes he could see the younger's face at that moment. It's hard to judge emotions that hide behind the words over the phone. Sure, the tone and volume of one's voice is a big clue but ultimately, Donghyuck feels like he can't nail it down perfectly.

' _You don't regret it, do you?_ ' he wants to ask but it hasn’t been that long since the breakup, only a few months, and while they seem to be doing great and getting along Donghyuck feels like part of it is playing pretend.

So instead of that ridiculous question, he isn't sure he wants to know an answer too he opts for something safer which has been going through his head a lot especially since he saw Mark in this new light.

"Are we okay Jaemin?" He asks and it's silence broken by some white noise that answers him at first.

And then:

"Of course, why wouldn't we be?" Once again Donghyuck can't judge how sincere Jaemin's words are.

He sighs. There's no other choice than to trust him and hope for the best.

"So now that we got _that_ out of the way, let me tell you a few things you might want to consider while writing that confession of yours," Jaemin's usually playful and a little bit silly tone is back and Donghyuck smiles to himself.

He is so glad they managed to stay friends and keep in contact.

"Yes, let me hear those wise words Nana," he teases and instead of getting offended Jaemin just laughs.

"Here we go," he says and Donghyuck makes sure to have his pen ready to note.

They spend hours like this.

☁️☁️☁️

"You know what," Donghyuck looks around the shopping mall him and Mark are at for Christmas shopping. "I want to change my hair color."

It's an impulse decision that Donghyuck makes after looking at all the couples around them. It wouldn't help him single status but his eyes keep slipping to Mark's still red hair even if it's really faded now.

Donghyuck craves some form of a change and it just so happens that his gaze lands on a shop with hair dye.

"What?" Mark asks with surprise in his voice but he doesn't protest like he would back in high school so Donghyuck smirks.

"My hair. It's boring," Donghyuck states and his best friend's gaze travels to inspect it as if he has no idea what Donghyuck is talking about. "I helped you dye yours, now it's your turn."

Mark stays outside when Donghyuck enters the shop just to be sucked into a mass of people and Christmas songs.

He walks around to the starting notes of Last Christmas. Most of the people occupy the aisles with natural colors like the blondes and browns. That's not really his thing.

He turns left and finally ends up where he wants to be.

Donghyuck stares at all the dyes. They vary from crazy names like 'Magnetic Fenix' to 'Midnight Star' and he scans them one by one.

His gaze stops for a moment at the reds because there it is too, of course, 'Sunset Red'. He contemplates grabbing a box because Mark's hair might need refreshing soon but ultimately his hand falls to his side before it can reach the shelf.

He turns his attention to the opposite side of the aisle and his eyes land on one specific color.

Something as far of as one can go. He smirks.

He focuses on finding the perfect shade and after a moment his fingertips brush against a box tagged 'Polar Blue'.

' _This is it_ ' he thinks.

And judging by the look of Mark's face when he shows him the box as soon as they meet outside the store, the older agrees.

Donghyuck doesn't regret his decision not then and not three hours later when Mark shows him the effect of his work in the mirror.

Those hours give Donghyuck a spark of inspiration.

He sits down to write that night.

☁️☁️☁️

Ultimately, no matter how many hours or days he spends on his valentine card it's never good enough.

Words are hard and they look strange and unnatural written on a piece of paper and so at the start of February Donghyuck gives up.

Well, that's a lie. He still plans to use the university's card system to confess but his plans change a little.

This is where his experience from high school comes into play.

He avoids Renjun's questions like plague. It's so much easier to dodge bullets from Jaemin who is across the globe because all Donghyuck does is pretend his texts get lost somewhere between America and Korea and then laugh loud enough during their calls so that he can say he didn't hear the question. Jaemin can't kick his ass after all.

But Renjun can. 

And oh, he tries. He interrogates Donghyuck at every give chance but the younger is a skilled liar who uses every excuse possible to get away from uncomfortable situations.

Donghyuck knows this could have not contributed forever and part of him is so grateful when the Valentine's Day finally arrives. It's a small part.

The rest of him is terrified as he walks through the empty corridors in the middle of lectures.

He knows he should be in his class right now, listening to some boring nonsense that Mr. Jung was presenting to his class.

Instead, Donghyuck is slowly making his way to the DJ's room.

When he said he is going to use his experience from high school he wasn't joking.

There's is a part of him that hesitates at the room for a second but at the end of the day, this is his only chance. He knows there is no way he will gather enough courage for this after today. And confess to Mark's face on top of that.

So he takes one last deep breath and then pushes the door with a big smile on his face. His strategy is to surprise the DJ and then obtain the microphone before the older would be able to protest.

It's currently time for the break-in reading the cards so there's no way he will interrupt anyone's confession with his stupid plan.

The DJ is so surprised to see someone casually walk into his room that he doesn't react when Donghyuck goes over and picks up the microphone.

Donghyuck finally gets a reaction when he looks at the panel before him. He realizes he has no idea what he is supposed to press to turn this thing on and how to make sure Mark would hear his words.

"What do you think you are doing?" The DJ asks as he stops beside Donghyuck and frowns down at the freshman. "You know you aren't supposed to be here, right?"

Between being a criminal and stupid Donghyuck would rather be stupid.

"Oh? Really? I thought I could maybe save you some trouble and read my long as hell card myself."

The DJ eyes him as if he was trying to decide if Donghyuck was fucking with him or if maybe this university really accepted idiots.

"You can't possibly believe in your own words," he finally says after a solid minute and Donghyuck wants to laugh so bad. He is still holding the microphone, the other doing nothing to get it back.

"I can't? How about you let me do it anyway?"

The question hangs in the air for a moment and in that time Donghyuck tries to think of a plan B if the guy decides to throw him out or, even worse, contact the security.

"I don't know what's your deal kid," he finally says and scans Donghyuck one more time for good measure. "But it's Valentine's so I suppose I can be a nice person for once."

Donghyuck beams at the older.

"Thank you!" He shouts enthusiastically and laughs to try to hide his nervousness.

The DJ helps him set up the equipment so that his voice can be heard on the other side of the campus where Mark is currently having a very boring class.

Donghyuck casts one last glance at the other boy just to make sure everything is read and when the older gives him a thumbs up he takes one last deep breath and closes his eyes.

The image he summons is that of a seven years old Mark. It's the oldest memory that he is sure is his, not just a retelling of a cute moment told to him over and over by his parents like some kind of a fairy tale. He has lots of those.

This memory is real. It includes Mark looking down at him and offering Donghyuck his own lollipop when the younger lets his fall to the ground by accident.

That's the image he starts with but it isn't the only one.

Donghyuck lets his memories with Mark play out under his eyelids as he talks, gripping the microphone as tightly as he can for comfort.

Their first day at middle school, that one time he was rejected and cried in the middle of a supermarket. A trip to the beach with both of their families.

And then there's high school; it's where Jaemin shows up in the picture. It's hard to cut him out, he is undoubtedly a big part of the story. But Donghyuck focuses on the other side of it than he did for years.

The kiss on Valentine's during their second year that was supposed to get Mark's fangirls off his best friend's back.

That Valentine card he received seconds before Jaemin's confession.

Then there's the third year and before Donghyuck knows it his memories arrive at college. The red hair, the party, the Polar Blue.

Donghyuck opens his eyes.

"You know how people say there's always one person who loves the other more in every relationship?" Donghyuck pauses to take a deep breath. He tries to calm his heart because what if he was too late or just plain wrong? It's terrifying to think about. He throws the DJ a side glance that says 'I've done this before'. "I never knew but it was apparently also true for us. I like to think of myself as the kind of person that doesn't like to hurt others. Well, especially my best friend but here we are."

That's the moment the DJ finally gives up and settles down on the sofa and even gestures for him to continue and Donghyuck smirks.

"But somehow you were still that person that loved me more. You send me so many valentine's day cards and I was just stupid I can't believe myself," Donghyuck pauses again. He wonders if Mark is already on his way or if the older will wait till class ends and seek him out privately. He knows his best friend isn't that dramatic to pull off what he and Jaemin did back in high school. "So now it's my turn. Let me be the one to love you more for once Markie."

And just like that, Donghyuck is done.

He turns to the DJ and gestures for him to turn the mic off, which the older does eagerly.

Donghyuck searches for his backpack and stands up to leave when a voice stops him.

"You are not gonna wait for him to replay?" The DJ asks cautiously.

Donghyuck throws him a small smile.

"Not really. He has classes now so I'll probably just talk to him after they finish."

"Like hell," comes a new voice from the door and Donghyuck's heart stops for a moment.

Mark's red hair is all messy and he doesn't have his bag with him. It's clean he has run all the distance from his department's building.

To his own surprise, Donghyuck's first instinct isn't to hide or run or anything equally ridiculous. It's to slap Mark for going out like this without his coat into the freezing air of a February afternoon.

"Stupid, it's freezing," he says and points at the door. "I would have waited."

Mark dismisses his words and grabs his wrist. They are out the DJ room in seconds.

"Hyuck, Donghyuck," Mark's voice shakes a little at the end and Donghyuck looks at him. Really looks at him, for the first time that day.

There's this sadness in his best friend's eyes and for a moment he thinks he has made a wrong decision.

He can say it play out like this: Mark telling him he is flattered but he likes Yukhei now and then them slowly drifting apart.

Donghyuck blinks and sees something that he hasn't noticed on the older's face before.

Mark might look at the edge of tears but Donghyuck realizes they aren't the sad kind.

"Did you mean it?" He asks, voice still unstable from the suppressed emotions. "All of it?"

"I do love you," Donghyuck holds Mark's gaze. Neither of them budge. "But part of me tells me I should be too late."

"You know what Donghyuck," Mark's voice is loud and clean now but it doesn't sound angry. "You can't just say 'I love you' but then say you don't think you deserve me or some other bullshit. I've waited for this for years, so what? You can't just tell me you don't think it's the best choice. You are my only choice Donghyuck."

The younger looks at the boy before him. The same boy he has looked at so many times before and he wonders how did he not realize he is in love with him sooner. All those years and this is the moment it all led to.

"I'm not. There are so many people out there, Mark," he says because, of course, he doesn't want the older to choose someone else but maybe, Mark should consider other options. Maybe the older should let go. "What I'm saying is that I'm not your only choice."

Mark looks him in the eyes and Donghyuck's heartbeats painfully in his chest.

"You are right. You aren't my only choice but you are the only one I want to choose. That's better right?"

Donghyuck nods eagerly. 

"That's so much better," he whispers. "And just so you know. I would have chosen you over anyone else always. I've been stupid and blind but at the end of the day you always mattered to me the most."

Mark gives him a bright smile.

"I'm glad you caught up to what it meant then. Tell me, what did the trick?" He asks and there is a thought that forms in Donghyuck's mind.

It's stupid but as he reaches out to tangle his fingers into Mark's hair it's all he can think about.

Donghyuck gives the older a smirk.

"The red hair definitely. It's always the red hair."

Mark looks at him for a second in silence just to burst into laughter a moment later.

The sound is so familiar to Donghyuck that he involuntary replaces the smirk with a soft smile.

"I'm glad I went for it then," Mark says and leans in.

The sensation of Mark's lips on his is familiar too. Donghyuck grins.

All his other kisses felt like an adventure. This one feels like coming home.

☁️☁️☁️

"Can you see him? Can you see?" Donghyuck almost shouts at the older as he tries to see beyond the wall of people and spot his friend in the masses of people. "He should be here any second."

Mark gives him a wave and a shake of his head.

They are at the airport. The place is crowded, people rushing in all directions trying to make it in time for their flight or make it out of this cursed place.

And some of them are trying to get their friends and families like Mark and Donghyuck.

"No, I don't think he is out yet," Mark tries hard to see from where he is standing on one of the airport's benches. It's probably illegal and while Donghyuck isn't really keen on having his boyfriend arrested, he fears they might lose Jaemin otherwise.

"Oh come on, Na Jaemin. You better not get caught for trying to smuggle us some sweets or something equally ridiculous," he mumbles to himself because you can never be sure with Jaemin.

Mark throws him a judging look.

"Did you really ask him for that?"

Donghyuck looks up at his boyfriend.

"Can he get arrested for it?"

Donghyuck swears Mark is ready to scream. Which, for sure, would get them arrested.

Thanks God for Na Jaemin.

Because right this second Donghyuck finally spots a mop of light blond hair that he knows Jaemin has in the crowd.

"Nana!" He yells and the boy turns in their direction. For a split second Donghyuck is worried that he got the wrong guy, and the terror on Mark's face matches his own but then they are faced with brightly smiling Jaemin.

Donghyuck doesn't waste time.

He let's go of any pride he has left and sprints across the terminal simultaneously trying to avoid any collisions and stomping on children.

Somehow he makes it all the way to the younger, who is waiting for him with open arms.

"You asshole!" Is the first thing that Donghyuck says and Jaemin laughs so loud that a few people turn their heads to stare at them. Donghyuck ignores them all. "You promised to visit in winter!"

Mark finally joins them. He gives Jaemin a high five and also a hug when Donghyuck finally lets their friend go.

"I know I did but my teachers almost didn't let me pass the semester so I had to stay."

Donghyuck pouts. He knows how rough and unforgiving university can be, he has had some problems during his first year too but he can't help feeling sad.

It's been a whole year since they last saw each other in person. No, actually, it's been more than that.

It's hard to believe and part of Donghyuck has been worried about this meeting.

They have talked about it so many times and despite Jaemin's constant reassurance that they are _fine_ and that he is happy for him and Mark, Donghyuck still had trouble sleeping the night before the visit.

Now, he breathes more freely as he watches the other two boys who he has grown to care about so much. There's not a trace of awkwardness in the way they talk and soon enough they turn to him with a questing gaze as if to ask why hasn't he joined the conversation yet. He laughs.

It's only two weeks he has with Jaemin for god knows how long, maybe a year, maybe even forever and so he decides to make it count.

And as they walk to the car, Donghyuck's fingers safely tangled up with Mark's he smiles widely.

His story finishes just as it had started; with the same two boys.

Donghyuck can't wait for what the future might bring but he knows one thing for sure.

No matter what, he is determined to keep them both in his life.

**Author's Note:**

> sooo thats it and i promise i won't add another part and make him get with jeno or something.
> 
> i think i needed to get this one off of my chest because i wanted to explore how you don't always stay with you 'first love' no matter how kdrama like your love story is.
> 
> anyway i hope you enjoyed and if you did leave comments & kudos, they always make my day<3
> 
> come talk to me on tt @lotsofsunshines


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